The Wall - A video

I thought this video was interesting. Take a look and see what you think.
I am a firm supporter for participation in the arts - It is for all ages.

Music and Brain Injury

Last night I was reading a post on a Facebook board for Therapeutic Recreation directors asking about how best to use music to help people who have had traumatic brain injuries. I actually got kind of worked up reading the responses. I felt that people might not be recognizing the difference between the needs of people experiencing dementia and those with TBI. 

I wrote a short answer to that post but really I have a lot to say on the topic. Music is so much more than entertainment. It is part of who we are, a part of our experiences and what we remember. It is what some of us marched to, what we danced to at our weddings, and what we sang as we rocked our babies.

I have always loved music and grew up with it around me. My dad played piano and I started piano lessons when I was in grade two. I was always singing and I even met my husband when we were both members of our high school choir. Our four children all took music lessons and I can't begin to add up the hours of lessons, and concerts we took part in.

After I had the brain injury I developed a love / hate relationship with sound. Music and sounds had a horrible effect on me. I was very easily overwhelmed by movement and noise. The sound of music made me nauseous and dizzy and any kind of beat seemed to kick that constant headache I was feeling into high gear.  The more the music, the less I was able to focus and the more disjointed my memory and thinking became. I cried because I was missing music that had loved and I cried because music had the ability to incapacitate me even  further than I already was.

As time went by my physical and occupational therapists started to do things like adding sound and music to sessions and trying to get me to tolerate the music. A lot of therapy for dizziness is in the category of .. " You are not going to like this.. but we are going to take you to the point of being dizzy and then back it down a bit so we can build up your tolerance. Don't worry I will jump out of the way when you start to throw up!". Yes it is absolutely that horrible and you have to keep going back over and over for more torture, also called VRT or Vestibular Rehabilitation Therapy, if you want any chance of having a life outside your bedroom.

Gradually music, in small doses, became one of  my greatest therapy helps. I started guitar lessons and I am sure I would not have regained such full use of my hand if I had not worked so very hard to get my hand moving on that guitar.  What I did not realize at the time was what a big impact the music was having on helping me recover some of my cognitive skills, especially my memory and sequencing of tasks.

My husband and I joined a community choir and there I was - out of the house doing something new and something other than therapy sessions. It was social, it was a new kind of learning and it felt encouragingly like a normal person kind of thing to do.

 

As I began my journey toward becoming a Recreation Therapist it was arranged that I would volunteer at the Misericordia Hospital. One volunteer position was helping with the spiritual care, mainly transporting people, handing out music and singing my little heart out with the residents during services. The other main job was assisting in a group program led by a music therapist who came weekly to the attached personal care home. The music was so powerful in both programs and what joy it brought to the residents!

I must admit that I personally don't do that much with music when I am at work at the personal care home. I have lots of opportunity when I could choose to run a music programs, but I rarely do. I think I value the role of music so much that I don't think I can live up to my own standards for this kind of program. This issue is apparently something I currently need to work on. I either better get to be a better musician or get over my perfectionist tendencies when it comes to the topic. I will have to report back about my progress in the future.

 I wrote in a previous post about singing a karaoke song at an event at the Stroke Recovery Association of Manitoba. That incident was very powerful for me in terms of mental and emotional health. The song I picked from the list of choices was the Beetles song, Blackbird. I was really scared to sing publically but I did it and felt so brave. When I finished there was no missing that I had an impact on the other people there. At first I thought they didn't like my singing or that the song was a bit too much. No, what happened is I had hit on a common emotion and wish for the group. It was what brought us together. We were all longing for the freedom of  having our broken wings fly again. We wanted our broken eyes to see again. To be free.

 

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life- You were only waiting for this moment to arise

 

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life- You were only waiting for this moment to be free

 

The power of music. 

 

 

 

Please note

 I was unable to find copyright info for the pictures this time. If there is a problem please let me know and I will gladly give credit or remove the pictures.

 

I Resolve...

On our very first cruise vacation last September.

New Years Day has come and gone.

I read a comment on one Facebook post about a group that started off the New Year singing Auld Lang Syne. A few minutes later they made their first resolution.. to learn the lyrics! How can you top a goal like that?

I have been going through the list of things I could or should work on this year and I was back to making the list of things I feel I need to improve or accomplish. Loose weight, get fit,  practice guitar, clean my house, sew a quilt, become a better artist, learn new skills,  and the list goes on and on.

 I usually think that my priority should be fitness. I am really acutely aware of how important it is to keep strong and keep your joints and muscles working their best. That is remarkably hard to do when you are exhausted.  Yes, yes.. you get fitter and then you have more energy and that is true even when we are talking about post stroke or brain injury fatigue. It can so hard to keep up a positive attitude.

I think what I need to do is to give myself permission to reduce stress and just rest and be kind to myself this year. I have worked long and hard to make changes in my life and I need to reflect on what I have already accomplished and experienced. I need to look for the small little things in life that bring peace and joy.

I do try to practice  mindful meditation and I truly believe that is what helps keep me going and positive. I want to try and bring some of that feeling to my everyday actions. This year I want to take time to focus on what I am doing and on the people I am with. If I am listening to music I want to focus on the music and not be mentally reviewing the lists of things I need to do that day. When I am doing an exercise I want to think about the exercise and focus on how that movement feels. I want to spend more time living in the moment. Not all moments can be joyful, but they are reality and a part of life and I want to give my all to those experiences too. 

I want to wish everyone a wonderful 2016 full of fun, joy, happiness and peace!

The Sharing of Christmas with Seniors

Christmas was a bit different for me this year.

I wound up working on Christmas Eve day and on Christmas Day.  We gave out presents and cards to 175 residents on Christmas. I walked through the halls and from room to room jingling a wreath made up of bells while saying Ho Ho Ho and spreading Christmas Cheer.

The personal care home I work at gives residents presents on Christmas Day. Some small presents are purchased by the Recreation department with the hope of giving residents something they will be able to use and enjoy in addition to the gifts that they might receive from family and friends. Other residents' gifts are purchased for the seniors through a program called "Be a Santa to a Senior".

Seniors who are impoverished and/or isolated are referred to the program by health care professionals and agencies serving older adults.They are asked what it is they need or would like and these wishes are filled through kind donations from the community.

http://www.beasantawinnipeg.com/ 

We also gave out some cards made by children. I volunteer with Girl Guides of Canada as a leader and work with girls 12 to 15 years of age. Last year the girls signed about 100 cards for me to take to work and give the seniors as a service project.  The girls planned in September of this year to spend one of the evenings in December doing something for seniors. I was so proud to have the girls request on their own to do such a kind thing.  They spent a meeting crafting cards and they made centerpieces for a tea party at my work. The girls and Guiders loved the evening of learning new crafts while doing something nice for others.

I think it is wonderful that the girls at this young age can reach out to others in their community. They grow into the kind of wonderful people, like the participants in the Be a Santa to a Senior Program, who continue to be willing to reach out and brighten the holidays for someone they have never met.

Thank-you to all the kind, giving people who brought Christmas Joy to the seniors and others in need in their communities.

The Power of Baking

I have such strong memories of baking with my mom when I was little. Christmas was a massive push to produce huge quantities of cookies, tarts, Christmas cakes and wonderful bars and treats.  I really don't know why we needed so much when the only ones sharing goodies over the holidays were my mom, dad and me plus an uncle and aunt. I loved the excitement of baking and holiday cooking and I loved that special time with my busy working mom.

My Mother-in-law was famous for her baking. Her style was to produce tons of stuff all year round and always had the freezer stuffed. Company over? She just pulled some margarine container of cookies from the freezer. Come Christmas time she dipped into all the containers and produced lovely trays to put on her dining room table or to take to the various charity groups she supported.

When our kids were growing up we tried to bring all of the above into our traditions and added in treats and baking that were particular to our family. I took courses in making fancy cakes and I considered baking to be my hobby. I collected cookbooks, and I have more shapes of baking pans and fun tools than one would believe possible. They make me smile.

This week I feel a desperate urge to bake everything. I want to bake with my family and pass down the recipes. I want to share treats and give gifts of goodies to friends. Sometimes it is fun and sometimes it feels more like work and the cost of ingredients can get away on you.  Sometimes all the dirty baking dishes can get away on you!
 I am really busy and over committed right now and I don't have the energy for it.  I sure don't need all the calories that those lovely chocolaty treats come with. Common sense tells me the grocery store\s bakery has it covered. My daughters say lets make this favorite food or that favorite cookie. My Grandkids usually make gingerbread house with me however I haven't visited with them in weeks. Despite all this I still want to be baking!


For a while there I was physically unable to do much baking and cooking and it shot right up to the top of my rehab priorities. I worked with my occupational therapist on regaining my cooking skills and in fact I still have the goal sheets where we worked out what I wanted to accomplish and brought it down to my SMART goals.

 It was absolutely the right goal for me at the time and it worked on all those damaged skills.. hand control, planning, order of operation for activities and it even worked on my stamina! It was a useful skill. It was familiar. It was part of having a normal life. What I have recently come to understand is how complicated the idea of a "relevant" goal is.

The ladies and gentlemen in the personal care homes always enjoy the baking programs we do. For most people it is not about trying to get back skills like I was doing in rehab, but it is indeed about regaining a little bit of their former life.
Baking programs are a fun social event shared with others. The smell of the  ingredients, the act of stirring and pouring all have this sense of connecting us with a different time. The smell of the food baking and the taste of the food is evocative of the past. It is a sensory joy.
It brings us memories of shared times with family and a pride in producing and sharing something of value.  It is connecting our now with our past and giving us a sense of continuity.

When we bake we share our stories and tell about who we are.

I'm Back!

Hello!

It has been months since I blogged.  My last post  included the cliff hanger that I had received a termination notice for my job.

Yippee! I get to stay in my same job!  I had a term job while a staff person was away on maternity leave. When she decided not to return to her former position the situation changed and eventually my little part-time job turned into a permanent job. I am at work about 26 hours every two weeks plus an extra shift every once in a while.

When I thought my job was over I applied for another job as a casual employee at a different Personal Care Home and I got that job too. It is like being a substitute teacher. I get called to see if I can come in to work when regular recreation staff are on vacation or off sick. It is not ultimately a lot of hours but I am really enjoying working there too.

The other things I do each week include facilitating a weekly Art Group at the Stroke Recovery Association of Manitoba, participating in a local community choir and I am still involved with Girl Guides.  I enjoy time with family and friends and I keep trying to learn new things. 

Guitar lessons are on the back burner for now. It just felt like too much for this year but I am not giving up permanently.  I dug out a book of beginner Christmas carols and I am playing and singing away when no one is at home with me except the dog!

I still spend a lot of time really exhausted and I have a lot of joint trouble now but I keep going anyway. I am trying to be very careful how I move and trying to pace myself. It is hard though because my heart and mind wants to try everything and do everything but my body keeps saying "Enough is enough!".

I have worried a lot about what to do with this blog.

The fact is that I am not all that up front at work or in professional situations about my health, my recovery experiences or my level of disability. I am not ashamed of who I am or what I have experienced but most of the time I feel like it is just too much work to explain my life to people. I also don't want to be judged and I don't want people second guessing my professionalism or my ability to do a good job based on the fact that I have had a brain injury.

I strongly believe in advocacy for the rights of people with disabilities or special health needs and I have felt very ashamed about my unwillingness to  be open and speak up for myself.  I was worried that other Recreation Professionals would only see my weaknesses and that no one would hire me and give me a chance to show my strengths.

I have learned a lot about health, recreation and therapy in the past couple of years and I do want to share what I have learned. I have thought a lot about opening a separate blog with ideas about Therapeutic Recreation but I think being true to myself  means that I should just keep going forward with this beloved blog of mine.  I want to continue to share my personal story but I also plan to write about a broader variety of recreational and leisure activity topics, health conditions and community resources. I want to share some of the fun activities I am involved in. 

The title of my blog still works for me.
I still want to write about Leading a Healthy Life.

What Next?

 I checked my email yesterday and opened one from my boss and there it was--- 4 weeks notice of the termination date for my part time job.

I have always known that my job is a term position related to someone's maternity leave. The leave is almost over and changes are going to happen. I knew it was a short term position and thought of it as an excellent way to get real life experience after doing the training. This job has been very rewarding and I have enjoyed my work, spending time with my co-workers and I am really sad that this is coming to an end. I admit it was physically harder than I expected largely due to the issues related to the building. I have pushed and pushed, gone up and down stairs, dragged, lifted and twisted. You know what? It has gotten easier over the past year.

I previously thought I had gotten as far as I could with physical rehab. It seems that working in a 9 story building, where you can't always wait for the elevator, encourages a whole lot of exercise that I would never have chosen to do for myself. On the other hand my neuro and muscle work related improvement is meeting a spot where my age and years of walking funny have damaged my joints. I am going to physiotherapy as needed  and it helps.

Jasper resting at the cottage after a long day of play.

What next?

I follow a wonderful blog The Murphy Saga and the amazing and inspiring author recently wrote :

I've got a choice to either stew over it and be miserable until it consumes me, or I can get busy adjusting to my new life.

 What a powerful approach to dealing with change!

First my husband and I are going on a two week vacation and taking time to have an adventure and enjoy a break away from it all.

I will start to apply for jobs again. I probably should have started much sooner but I was enjoying being settled into this life. I am optimistic that I will find another part time job .. hopefully a permanent one!

Maybe I will take some more courses, maybe I will actually spend time practicing guitar maybe do some different type of volunteering. There are so many new things out there that I could try out..

or

 Maybe I should follow Jasper's lead and just take more time to nap.